After taking some measurements and talking about the project with the phone tech at my school, I figured out what I was going to do. After some research, I determined that phones typically ring in the 90 to 120 VAC range. I measured mine to be around 200, sometimes over 300, Still not a big deal. The other thing though is that there is always 10VDC sitting on the line for when the phone isn't ringing but you're talking etc... To deal with that, I used a pair of non polar capacitors in parallel, as a single .5µf capacitor wasn't passing enough current to trip the relay.
From here, I connected a bridge rectifier chip, which in turn was connected to my 12V relay. I soldered a 47µf 35V cap across the terminals to smooth out the DC. It may not have been necessary, but I had it laying around and I figured at 25Hz I might as well.
Diagram of the circuit I used
Hodge Podge of parts and hot glue. I love that stuff, plus, I don't have any perf board.
My pretty (yeah right) wiring job
The intercom/door thingy, easy enough to deal with.
Final packaging of the opener. It's crammed in the top of a ranch salad dressing neck with lots of hot glue. I used a chunk of Cat5 to connect to the phone line. My apartment has RJ45 connections so it works fine.